What is Modern Orthodox?

I love the category Modern Orthodox. It‘s a guaranteed lifetime employment for bloggers. We can talk about the interface of MO and charedi life and MO and Conservative forever and then some. After we decide on how to define the end points we can go on to discuss its essence, what it really is and what it really means. And what’s so great about the topic is everyone on either side of the divides is a maven. Not only is the category systemically misleading it depends on how it is said. When you look at the self representations they are clear enough. It’s the more formal definitions that have proven difficult. Here are some ideas what it is to be MO that are said by actual people:

It means someone who keeps all the mitzvot and loves Torah but goes to the movies, perhaps owns a TV.

Mizrachi, love of Israel, less ritualistic, no hypocrisy.

Take mitzvot seriously and do my best. I believe in the keddusha (holiness)of medinat yisrael (State of Israel) and believe that a secular education is an asset in appreciating Hashem's world.

The formal definitions are even more high brow and ideological. I myself believe the name Modern Orthodox and its various subdivisions are way too pop-sociological, theory laden and lead to endless confusion. (See as an example the Hirhurim post here, with close to 700 comments, and the ur-text in the Jewish Press here.) I think it is high time somebody returned to the circle of terms in everyday use. If you look at everyday discourse, at least in many circles, the terms that are actually used are neither the ideological beliefs that separate Modern Orthodoxy from Ultra Orthodoxy or the categories used on dating sites or on blogs. In my view, ordinary people (i.e. non-sociologists, non-bloggers, and non- internet daters) are looking at marginal, but symbolic, activities that tend to be good indicators of piety and fun. Too much piety is usually as unacceptable as too much levity. If your moniker is MO, you’re neither a total ascetic saint nor a party animal. All the other terms are used to fine tune that spread.

I would like to define the various terms in the sense of explaining them and offering more (my) plausible plain talk substitutions. Here are some terms and my suggested substitute words which I would like to see used:

MODERN Orthodox = Halachic laxness or compromise with halacha to suit oneself and the pace of modern society. I would substitute ‘You call THAT Orthodox ?’ If that label is a mouthful, maybe, ‘‘Shakes hands with women’’ or ‘Eats hot- milchig out Orthodox’. I’ll go with 'Eats fish out Orthodox'.

Modern ORTHODOX = Keeping up with the times Orthodox. Very confusing since everyone integrates advances in the world with halacha. I prefer ‘With It Orthodox’ or as a friend of mine calls ‘Vit It Orthodox’ as in ‘He’s very much vit it.’

My 'being vit it' condition is to be compared with Rabbi Student’s formulation: ''You approve of exploring some or much of general culture in order to find beauty and meaning in it.'' I find the latter condition much too high minded and not at all what people are thinking. They mean stuff like going to the movies and knowing where there is a decent jazz club or not feeling very uncomfortable in a singles bar. Beauty and meaning is much too stringent and would preclude middle and low brow people from being MO.

MO Machmir = Strict adherence to Halacha and stricter than other legitimate opinions, but still vit it. I find what is a chumra (overly strict) and what not confusing. Is the base line Reb Moshe or the Chazon Ish ? Much too difficult. How about ‘a little bit fachnukt (fanatic)’ or ‘moderately farshvantzevatit (religiously extremist?)’? OK, maybe not. I prefer ''Shomer negiah (no touching opposite sex until marriage) farfrumt (overly, very frum) but vit it Orthodox.'' Chuck the modern; who are we kidding?

MO Liberal… 'Liberal' is a bad choice and should be confined to Orthodox who are on the left wing of the Democratic Party as in ''Can you believe it he’s Orthodox and a liberal. What they won’t think up next?''. I would like to call it 'Old fashioned MO before everyone lost their marbles'. Too many words. What about ‘Young Israel MO?’ Won’t do since using the reference Young Israel shows a very unvit it and somewhat older person. I would go with Edah MO, or YCT Modern Orthodox, but the term would be meaningless to the Israeli branch of MO. In Israel we have to call it ‘Shira Chadashaw Orthodox’ or maybe ’Hartmanesque Orthodox’. My replacement is ''Vit it but not farfrumt.''

We really don’t need the neologisms ‘RIGHT wing’ and ‘LEFT Wing’ which requires everyone to remember how the parties were seated in the French Assembly. Besides, the association of the right with the monarchists and fascists and the left with libertarians and communists makes everyone unhappy.

My categories work so much better than the older terms. The shadchenta suggests a bochur. She knows the family is MO, and says, ‘Very fine boy, college graduate, on his way to becoming a perodontist. Wonderful family. OK, I admit a little challenged in the height department, but a very sweet guy’. The family armed with my terms counterattacks…''You say MO, tell us how vit it is he? Looking down people’s throats might make him a few shekels, but our daughter is very modern, and she won’t take a farchnukte, farfrumt guy.'' ''No, no,'' says the shadchente, ''He’s very vit it. He goes to plays, movies, the works.'' Our family can now come back with a pinpoint second strike. ''Broadway or Off Broadway, studio or indies. Our Pesha Kimberly wants only a guy who likes indy films.'' The shadchante recovers, but barely. ‘’I promise, he chalishes for indy films. When he’s not working on teeth, he’s at Sundance waiting for the festival.'' The family sees through the ruse. ''No, no, no'' they say, ''this bochur won’t do at all. Our daughter is, in the end, a heimish girl. Hanging around Sundance, gutenu…you call that Orthodox? Next thing you are going to tell us he air kisses movie stars. In our family we draw the line …eating fish out, not so aye,yai yai, but we understand. Kiss, kiss definitely not. Maybe at YCT its ok, but our daughter wants someone more farfrumt than those YCT guys.’’

Have I solved the problem or what?